Dawn Treader time

Today was Beloved Daughters' 13th birthday. So that was scary enough. End of the school holidays (an unfortunate consideration, one we did not take into account in England) and as always we had chocolate cake for breakfast and a movie for dinner, with haircuts between times. This time I bribed Beloved Son into the haircut with a promise that I would allow him to read Cleolindas' TrueBlood recaps (you can find the most excellent Cleolinda here) so for those of you who have already read those recaps, please try to imagine a kid fresh from Southern vampire hilarity going in to see....The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  At least it gave his ribs a break. He laughs so much when he reads Cleos' Twilight material that I am reassured he has not inherited my asthma. I have seen him roll helpless on the floor, but never yet turn blue.
Anyway. So, the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Visual death-by-chocolate as always, but I am hugely cheered by the irritating cousin Eustace, and set my internal clock to check for the first time someone calls him Useless. At this rate, I give it five minutes. I also wonder why the camera focuses on his noticeably blue eyes so often. I mean, do blue eyes even look that blue? We learn that Edmund and Lucie are living with their irritating cousin Eustace and his family while the rest of the Pevensie family are off finding a rich American husband for Susan; and assume there are adults involved in this although you never actually see them (well, you do see the uncle from the newspaper down, but I've seen horror movies that started like that) and after a short and fierce encounter between Edmund and Eustace that made me sympathise deeply with the makeup artist who had to deal with Skandar Hughes five-o-clock shadow, we find ourselves on the Dawn Treader.  A lot.
It's not in my nature to tell the movie; I leave it to those who have a gift for it, but here are a few overheard exclamations that kind of made the movie for me.
"Gah!  Bloody lion stalker!" (he did in fairness spill his popcorn when the voice popped up unexpectedly)
"Excellent. Pirates of the CariNarnia" (hint : cough*SEASERPENT*cough).
Nobody ever calls Eustace Useless. .
And the characters end with their now-usual roll-call of who-to-expect-next-Narnia-movie. I like it; we get used to our traditions, like waiting for the Unexpected Plot Twist Scene at the end of the Pirates movies, which you only get if you stay till the end of the credits (and I have to say I would have cracked up so bad at the end of Pirates 3 if Will had come ashore to find Elisabeth accompanied by a staggering gold-toothed dreadlocked 10 year old) so we know that's it for Edmund and Lucy.
But not Useless!!!