Rearranging Geography at Sparrowfart

So, it's that time of year again. BattleCry - which is The annual wargamers tournament commences at 7 (!) in Kohimarama; I was out of bed at 4.45, showering and making bacon butties for a 5.45 wake-up call for the kids. On the road by 6; I think both boys were out by 6.15 or as long as it took to inhale a bacon buttie. We were there by 7 before 7; and the geeks were arriving in force. So we cleared out, and, honouring another tradition, drove back to the Westfield Mall for a coffee. Alone. At the Coffee Club. Overlooking the empty parking lot.

Note the balloon in the sky above the hills.

We were too early for the Coffee Club.

So we went for a stroll, pausing to note the following well-constructed advertisment.

I don't know what to be more worried about; the disappearance of Sicily, England rejoining mainland Africa, or the fact that New Zealand amounts to four coffee beans. 

Spam, spam, spam, spam...

So, in my inbox this morning along with several offers of a certain manhood-enhancing product and the delightful news that I have won USD 9 million for having the right Vodafone number, was my unasked-for horoscope. I swear, they must use random word generators.

Hi Wilna,

Hey – give her credit – she doesn’t even know me and she spelt my name right! This is more than can be said for an awful lot of people I deal with on a daily basis!

Sadly, from here it’s all downhill.

I am Gloria, I am a medium from the site www.astrovidencia.com in Spain. This site is very famous on the other side of the Pyrenees.

Going by my map of the world, Spain is south of the Pyrenees, as am I, albeit considerably  further south.  Think penguins. Okay, just short of the penguins.

I have been initiated to the meduimnity

..okay, that's a first. Maybe she meant mediocrity?

first by my grand-mother, and then, I have learned the taralogy

...the what? Is that meant to be the  ability to read Tarot cards?  I didn’t know it was an ology.

and astrology with well-known teachers. Today, it became my only activity

...meaning she gave up on meduimnity and taralogy, but not spamming? I can understand why she gave up on the geography, anyway.

and at the beginning of the year, I wanted to let you enjoy for free my predictions for the following month.

Last time I checked, Spain was still celebrating New Year at the same time as us, which was kinda six weeks ago. Predictions after the event are called reflections.

Here is what you can expect:

On the affective level, on the second fifteen of January,

The rugby second fifteen I understand. The second fifteen of January is not connecting with any known concept in my mind.

you will be strongly influenced by your circle, so much that you will start doubting about yourself. A need of independence brings you a  feeling of beeing unuseful.

I've never met an unuseful bee.

It’s in beeing more flexible

..a flexible bee, maybe...

that you will improve your affective life. Some decisions will have to be taken and these decisions will have consequences on your future.

About work, your situation is evoluating

..is doing what? Darwin is puzzled somewhere.

positively, but very slowly. I can see in your profil a curb,

Yep, that's where I catch the bus every day

someone is trying to slow you down. This situation has last for a while now and begins to irritate you seriously.

Okay, she’s  a  year too late for that

Financially you are stable for now,

I get why you gave up on the meduimnity now.

but you are waiting for an amount of money that is taken more time to arrive than it was planed

Yes, I was planing on being born into it.

Unfortunately, I think that you can’t count on that before the second part of the year. It is not possible for me to tell you exactly when siince I don’t have all the elements on you yet. Call me to give me the elements I’m missing concerning your situation and I’ll be able to give you a exact date.

I want to show you the way of success, rather it is on the affective, professional or financial plan. I can bring you all the clarifications you need. Don’t wait, call me.

Talk to you soon, Gloria.

It's a good thing you gave up on the  meduimnity. I suspect we will not be talking, soon or any other time.

Dawn Treader time

Today was Beloved Daughters' 13th birthday. So that was scary enough. End of the school holidays (an unfortunate consideration, one we did not take into account in England) and as always we had chocolate cake for breakfast and a movie for dinner, with haircuts between times. This time I bribed Beloved Son into the haircut with a promise that I would allow him to read Cleolindas' TrueBlood recaps (you can find the most excellent Cleolinda here) so for those of you who have already read those recaps, please try to imagine a kid fresh from Southern vampire hilarity going in to see....The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  At least it gave his ribs a break. He laughs so much when he reads Cleos' Twilight material that I am reassured he has not inherited my asthma. I have seen him roll helpless on the floor, but never yet turn blue.
Anyway. So, the Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Visual death-by-chocolate as always, but I am hugely cheered by the irritating cousin Eustace, and set my internal clock to check for the first time someone calls him Useless. At this rate, I give it five minutes. I also wonder why the camera focuses on his noticeably blue eyes so often. I mean, do blue eyes even look that blue? We learn that Edmund and Lucie are living with their irritating cousin Eustace and his family while the rest of the Pevensie family are off finding a rich American husband for Susan; and assume there are adults involved in this although you never actually see them (well, you do see the uncle from the newspaper down, but I've seen horror movies that started like that) and after a short and fierce encounter between Edmund and Eustace that made me sympathise deeply with the makeup artist who had to deal with Skandar Hughes five-o-clock shadow, we find ourselves on the Dawn Treader.  A lot.
It's not in my nature to tell the movie; I leave it to those who have a gift for it, but here are a few overheard exclamations that kind of made the movie for me.
"Gah!  Bloody lion stalker!" (he did in fairness spill his popcorn when the voice popped up unexpectedly)
"Excellent. Pirates of the CariNarnia" (hint : cough*SEASERPENT*cough).
Nobody ever calls Eustace Useless. .
And the characters end with their now-usual roll-call of who-to-expect-next-Narnia-movie. I like it; we get used to our traditions, like waiting for the Unexpected Plot Twist Scene at the end of the Pirates movies, which you only get if you stay till the end of the credits (and I have to say I would have cracked up so bad at the end of Pirates 3 if Will had come ashore to find Elisabeth accompanied by a staggering gold-toothed dreadlocked 10 year old) so we know that's it for Edmund and Lucy.
But not Useless!!!