LET US IMMEDIATELY HAVE A WITCH-HUNT!
Yes, I know a wedding was involved; this is probably a legitimate excuse for at least one of them. I am not good at blogging that stuff; I'll leave it to those who are, and stick to the bits that annoy me.
"At least seven U.S. websites are running the photos showing Miss Middleton stripped to a purple push up bra and flimsy white slip with an half-naked unknown companion doing a 'bump and grind' dance behind her. " We're talking the Not-Duchess-of-Cambridge here.
Wow, a whole seven? Can we do an Osama comparison now, or would that just be too disheartening?
Now, let's just examine the newsworthy items enumerated in that sentence.
A purple push up bra. That wicked girl, why did she not do the respectable thing and purchase immediately upon puberty a drag-down bra? Possibly not in purple? Total proof of degeneracy, if you ask me. Frankly, the damn bra looks much like every one I wore up till pregnancy; except not purple. Also, I think the fashion industry might have something to say about PURPLE. Amethyst, Antique Fuschia, Bright Lavender, Bright Ube, Byzantine, Ceil, Dark Orchid, Dark Pastel Purple...we could be here all night.
Flimsy white slip. Well, there you go! Why not an unflimsyone? News for you, people - they only come in flimsy; that's the point of the damn things. They are meant to shield modesty invisibly, as opposed to being stronger and thicker than the garments they are assisting, thus rendering them superfluous. The garments, I mean.
Half-naked unknown companion - hmm, there are two ways to read this and the photo seems to indicate that the half that was naked was the legal half, so to speak. The fact that he is unknown to the DM is probably a blessing for the poor bugger. Seems he was not unknown to his dance companion, nor was he forcing himself upon her, nor was she actually forcing him to be half-naked at the time, so I can't see any real cause for anyone beside the two clearly responsible (well, OK LEGALLY responsible adults) to get upset, but - ah, now we come to it, the BUMP and GRIND dance behind her.
Now, all I've seen (and I can't claim I've done an exhaustive search, because I have a life) is a PHOTO. Repeat after me, PHOTO. Essentially this involves NO MOVEMENT. The author of the article infers a bump-and-grind dance; and I am happy for that author that they had a youth adventurous enough to imagine such a scenario, but mmmmmmm, projection?
But I guess "Holiday photograph of Miss Middleton relaxing in beach wear dance contest" is hardly likely to sell many papers.
I feel a Bah Humbug coming on.
